One Day at the Restaurant
(in honor of Mad Magazine cartoonist Don Martin)

“Sandwich and a salad, sister.
Fast -- like in a race.”
“Sure, and how'd you like them, mister?
In your lap or face?”

“Water, waiter, while I wonder
What I want to eat.”
“Sure, just see the menu under
‘Food: some kind of meat.’”

“Hey! I’ve got a big fly floating
In my glass of wine.”
“So? No need to sit there, gloating;
I’ve got two in mine.”

"Now, and for your surly service,
Here's a tip for thee."
"Thanks, but keep your precious penny.
You need it more than me."