Flaccid Phallic Fulminations

Sixteen years and countring
With no result in view
Another "Friedman Unit"
In total, thirty-two.

Just six more months will do it:
Around the neareast bend,
And then into the tunnel,
With no light at the end.

Our “gains” we will call "fragile"
And easy to "reverse."
So why then do we need them?
To loot the public purse!

It's just about the money.
It always was and is.
So call on Dave Petraeus
Who'll make sure he gets his.

Some bullshit noise he'll utter,
Some sounds that seem like words,
Which if you try to parse them
Will smell like little turds.

Dave’s good at euphemisms.
He practiced night and day.
Pure wind he calls "reflection,"
And "war" means making hay.

So Dave had an opinion:
What Keane and Kagan "thought."
They tried to "surge," but dribbled:
And came before they shot.