Boobie Official Mendacity
(from Fernando Po, U.S.A., America's post-literate retreat to Plato's Cave)

The characters in government
Will change from time to time
As fashion colors change from green
To slightly lemon-lime
But lying never changes, like
The meter of this rhyme

The former Clinton government
Once wanted to inflict
The normal needless bombing on
A country it had picked
Because its petty potentate
Our boots had never licked

It seems that of the suspects whom
We normally accuse
One stood apart in infamy
Thus him we would abuse
Because he could not stop us so
That made him great to use

Inspectors roamed across his land
Discovering not much
Of mass-destructive weaponry,
And gas, and germs, and such
Thus did Saddam Hussein refuse
To come through in the clutch

So in frustration Bubba Bill
Turned Madam Albright loose
To use up some "diplomacy"
Much like a hangman's noose
To threaten peace with war until
War seemed our only ruse

A decade’s worth of sanctions failed
To bring the tyrant down
But only starved his children which
Caused few of us to frown
If hungry Arab kids can’t swim
We say: “Then let them drown”

“We think the price is worth it,” said
Ms Albright in her way
Yet glib and airy phrases left
No food upon the tray
Just surly scorn for diplomats
Who never have to pay

But still those damned inspectors caused
Our President to pout:
To bomb might make them hostages
Which could extend the bout
To something more than half a round
And not the hoped-for rout

This Bubba Bill could not abide:
So he asked the UN
To have its people leave and tell
Him where and how and when
So he could blame their absence on
Saddam and all his men

To pull off this duplicity
He needed lies to spout
And so he took the muzzle off
Of Madam Albright’s snout
So she could lie and say Saddam
Had forthwith “kicked them out”

And so with the inspectors gone
And nothing more to say
The bomber pilots got to fly
Three miles above harm’s way
And blitz some helpless cities
Just to earn their monthly pay

Just so with Boobie Bumbler George
Who also wanted in
To knock about the whipping boy
And all his clan and kin
Yet once again inspectors proved
An obstacle to spin

They’d gone ahead and done their jobs
And found no smoking gun
Which vexed another President
Who so much needed one
To validate more lies and his
Vendetta left undone

“He tried to kill my daddy!” swore
The vengeful Boobie Bush
“I know because the CIA
Has searched the Hindu Kush;
And found out lots of stuff, so now
I say shove comes to push”

So Boobie George told the UN
That its men hadn’t found
What Boobie George and Dick and Don
Knew lay somewhere around
Someplace where only they could see
On undiscovered ground

And Boobie Condoleeza Rice
And Colin Powell, too,
Proved once again that Black folks lie
Just like the White ones do
Repeating what no one believed
Exactly right on cue

With summer coming on so soon
And springtime cool so short
The bombing had to start at once
Lest hot weather abort
Mad plans to land upon a ship
Sent steaming back to port

And so once more the snoops and hounds
Packed up and left Iraq
The UN wished to take no part
In Bush’s planned attack
Yet still the obvious and bald
Required a little slack

To cover for their rush to war
The Bush Bunch needed spin
They claimed they had no choice because
They wanted so to win
And bad Saddam had not allowed
Inspectors to come in

Thus here we have a sorry tale
Of two groups sworn to tell
No truth if they could help it
And they could, so what the hell?
And Boobies, anyway, had grown
Accustomed to the smell

Saddam Hussein had let a host
Of spies stay at his inn
But yet it didn’t change a thing
Or mitigate his sin
Bill lied about the "kicking out"
And George the "letting in"

The Presidents who work for us
Decline to let us know
The things we need to supervise
Their fumbling tell-and-show
So wars begin on schedule and
The piles of bodies grow

Bill Clinton swore one type of lie;
George Bush another kind
They both had lied so much that each
Thought none would ever mind
With Boobies all so fast asleep
The bland could lead the blind

If once their lips commence to move
A lie we should suspect
And if their lips should move again
We should at once reflect
That we can -- in their moving lips --
A naked lie detect

Their lying we should not expect
To bother them that much
To make them tell the truth would be
To rob them of their crutch
If they could choose, they'd lie so that
They wouldn't loose their touch