The Misfortune Teller ("Boobie Blank Rubber Checks")

They ran for their election by
Not promising to say
What they would do in office if
They ever got their way
Instead they vaguely swore to show
How nicely they could play

The last guys gave the president
A blank check for his war
The new guys said they wouldn't but
They might if pushed too far
Which meant -- in their case -- nothing more
Than wishing on a star

For "pushing" means to Democrats
A hint about a name
That mean old bad Republicans
Might use to pin the blame
On those who dared to try and do
The job for which they came

The Boobies thought that they'd thrown out
The ones they didn't like
For feeding them a pack of lies
Upon a pointed pike
All wrapped in soothing, empty noise
Like "win" and "surge" and "spike"

But all too soon the new guys turned
A shade of yellow pale
The President, they said, has got
The right to trip and fail
Which means that they must post his bond
So he can then skip bail

For don't you know, it wouldn't do
To recognize the fact
That those who voted-in the new
Expected them to act
And not sign off on deals with George
Which he will just redact

See, Boobie George "decides" based on
An "instinct," guess, or whim
He signs the laws alright but claims
They don't apply to him
Which low-watt Boobie Congressmen
Accept like yokels dim

King George the Worst had learned to work
A scam both bold and deft
He asked for loans from Congresses
Who had no money left
When he asked for their signatures
To authorize his theft

Republicans thought this just fine
Since they dined on the pork
The Democrats, though, didn't and
Considered George a dork
For eating all the food while they
Could only lick the fork

Yet still they found it hard to break
Bad habits formed in years
When they watched George consume the wine
While they drank only tears
In tune to him denouncing them
For marrying some queers

So when they got back in it seemed
Just like the bad old days
With George deciding what he'd spend
And them the one that pays
"Support the troops," for him, meant more
Vacation sunshine rays

He didn't even have to fight
The wars he claimed to lead
He had some other folks do that
While he learned how to read
"Some Shakespeares" and Albert Camus:
An awful thought, indeed

Yet as he lost he doubled down
The turning of the screw
And threatened Democrats to up
The ante that he blew:
"Just sign your names alongside mine
Which implicates you too!"

Then comes the part that really hurts
As Democrats confessed
That they would never want to fight
An unarmed man undressed
For fear that this would just offend
All those that he'd oppressed

Those years tied to the whipping post
Had made them love the lash
Internalizing George's lies
That called them traitor trash
They just believed George Bush deserved
To make of them a hash

In fact, they shared his view of life
As his preserve alone
They only thought it fair that he
Should make them cry and moan
Why should he not spit in their face
And kick them till they groan?

What would they do about it if
He asked for "just one more"?
Had he not done the same and worse
So many times before?
He'd fooled them not just one "last time"
But two, and three, and four …

For when the last means "latest" you
Can see one coming next
No reason then to wonder why
Or act a bit perplexed
George only screws the pooch because
Some witches have him hexed!

"So just another rubber check
If you would be so kind
Someone will find the money soon
So I don't really mind
But if they don't, you've still no right
To put me in a bind"

"I never asked permission but
Forgiveness I'll now take
Just 'cause I lied for practice
Don't consider me a fake
Or think that over burning coals
My lying ass you'll rake"

"You bought into my lies at first
And that makes you look dumb
And now you can't admit it so
You're now beneath my thumb
And I can go on lying 'cause
Your brain's already numb"

"Somehow you think that time will pass
And folks will just forget
The ease with which I suckered you
Each time I placed a bet
And you bankrolled my losing
Though I haven't won once yet"

"Just sign upon the dotted line;
I'm sure you know your place
I swear I won't come back next year
And throw it in your face:
How this, your very signature,
Means my war you embrace"

"Those fingers crossed behind my back?
Why, pay no mind to those
They only indicate what I
Have no wish to disclose:
That I have sundry plans afoot
For giving you the hose!"

"You know from past experience
How I have jerked your chain
And yet you keep on coming back;
You simply can't abstain
From "just one more last" whipping which
Must mean you like the pain"

"I've only got two years to go
So that means two more checks
Just give me this one now despite
The budget that it wrecks
Your kids will pay it back one day
With chains around their necks"

Republicans have words for things
All lined up in a row
They think that they can spout some words
And that will make things so
Which Democrats confirm each time
They eat a meal of crow

So, yes, "just one more last time" check
For blood and sweat and tears
Just like the other "one last times"
We've had the last four years:
A bouncing rubber bankruptcy
Refinancing our fears