Beasts of My Land
(after the style of George Orwell's "Beasts of England")

Praise the Lord and pass the bullet
Praise the Prophet; pass the rope
Crack the neck, then stretch and pull it
Praise religion; bury hope

Orwell said, "Revenge is Sour"
Not for those who tap the cask
Buy the bottles by the hour
Take a swig and pass the flask

Eye of newt and ear of frogskin
Dig a pit then set the stake
Chain the bear then throw the dogs in
Good Queen Bess will join the wake

Shoot the traitor; drown some witches
Burn the heretic real slow
Scratch the caveman where he itches
Basking in the good-feel glow

In the tavern, hold communion
Bread and wine a frenzied flood
Want to conquer? Spread disunion
Eat His flesh and drink His blood

"Beasts of England, beasts of Ireland,"
Beasts of U.S.A. so fair,
Beast of Baghdad, Shiite firebrand:
Praise Moqtada, Bush, and Blair

Now without Saddam, who'll be next?
What excuse will you use now?
What transparent ruse or pretext
Will you make your sacred cow?

First tilt this way, then lean rightward
Back and forth, play both sides now
Throw them all in Bedlam's fright ward
They don't matter, anyhow

Place your sons upon the altar
Also daughters, friends, and wives
Parents, too -- and never falter
Praise your GAWD who feeds on lives