The call has gone out for a Caesar to come
And rescue the fortunes of Dubya the Dumb
Whom even the dimwits consider too numb
To make the distinction between "to" and "from"
The Russians say "Czar" as their choice for the name;
The Germans say "Kaiser" and mean just the same;
But when the Republicans fail at the game
They call for a scapegoat to take all the blame
But soldiers on horseback with legions in train
Have never much cared for the fools they disdain
And rather than serve at the whims of the vain
Prefer to dispense with Democracy's pain
So crossing the Rubicon on his way home
Means only that Caesar wants no more to roam
The Empire for Dubya: an ignorant gnome.
So much for the former Republic of Rome
Yet given as bad as our generals are
Who've taken four years to get not very far
Even they know they've fucked up the Baghdad Bazaar
And would rather retire than pick up a fifth star
For what would it mean to "command" a defeat
That Dick Cheney runs from behind a boy's seat
Resulting in only more piles of dead meat
With some luckless scapegoat to take all the heat?
A scapegoat on horseback! Try thinking of that!
Who'll cross the Potomac to fry in the fat?
And all so that chicken hawks blind as a bat
Can stuff their fat faces like Garfield the cat
It doesn't look good for the oxygen thief:
A waste of good skin; a commander in brief
Who now once again demands free-lunch relief
For all that he's done to cause all so much grief
Michael Murry, "The Misfortune Teller," Copyright © 2007